Phyllis Jean Athey

Phyllis Jean Athey, co-founder of the Kinheart Women’s Center and early lesbian activist in the United Methodist Church, was born on January 23, 1957 in Holland, Michigan to Bryan and Ruth Athey. The church played an important role in Phyllis’ early development. Phyllis felt a calling to a religious vocation and was attracted to the United Methodist Church because of its theology and its openness to women’s leadership. As a teenager, Phyllis was aware that she was attracted to women rather than boys and prayed that God would help her change. She attended Hope College, graduating Phi Beta Kappa in 1978 with a bachelor’s degree in religion and psychology. She then enrolled at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois, graduating in 1982. While in seminary she began a relationship with Mary Jo Osterman who taught Christian education there. Osterman’s contract with the seminary was not renewed when it became known she was a lesbian.

In 1982, Athey and Osterman co-founded Kinheart, Inc., a women’s center and safe space for lesbians and women’s exploring their sexuality. Athey and Osterman had added “Kinheart” to their names when they celebrated a covenant service. Kinheart was housed at Wheadon United Methodist Church, where they had found a welcoming church home. Athey took on the full-time role of counselor at Kinheart, advising and helping individuals, couples and groups. Athey and Osterman co-authored two books: The Lesbian Relationship Handbook and the Church and Homosexuality.

After graduating from seminary, Athey had been denied ordination in the United Methodist Church because she was a lesbian. But Athey remained strong in her calling to be a clergy and continued to pursue ordination in the Northern Illinois Annual Conference. She was recommended by her Wheadon congregation and then by the district committee on ordained ministry. By early 1987 she had been approved by the Conference’s Board of Ordained Ministry and would have been eligible for a vote and ordination at the annual conference session that June. However, some strong voices arose in opposition to Athey’s ordination and challenged Athey’s status on a technical question of whether “she had her own church.” The bishop asked for a Judicial Council ruling on the matter, which eventually affirmed Athey’s candidacy but came after the 1987 annual conference session had ended. So the decision was postponed another year and Athey had to endure more hate mail, interviews and votes.

In February 1987, Phyllis resigned from Kinheart, citing the effects of so much stress in her life. Even though her family did not affirm Phyllis’ lesbian identify and her quest for ordination, she returned to her family home to stay for a while. There on May 23, 1988 she died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The family did not notify Osterman or the Kinheart community of Phyllis’ death nor invite them to her local funeral. However, the Kinheart community did learn of her death, resulting in an outpouring of grieving and distress. Another memorial service to honor Phyllis’ legacy was held at Wheadon UMC on May 30, 1988.

(This biographical statement written by Mark Bowman from the sources below.)

Biography Date: December 2026

Know Phyllis Jean Athey? Tell us your experience.
(All entries are reviewed by the LGBT-RAN office before posting.)