Daniel Jonas, born on March 1, 1982, is a prominent Orthodox Jewish LGBTQ activist based in Jerusalem, Israel. He served for six years as chairperson of Havruta, an organization supporting religious and ex-religious LGBTQ Jewish Israelis. His coming out journey was challenging, as he faced the complexity of reconciling his Orthodox Jewish identity with his sexual orientation and the pressures from the conservative society around him. Nevertheless, Daniel used his personal experiences as fuel for activism, focusing on increasing visibility of LGBTQ Orthodox Jews in Israeli society and advancing policies regarding key issues for the gay community in Israel: conversion therapy and surrogacy. In his time at Havruta, where he served as chairperson between 2011–2017 (taking a hiatus from the position in 2013), Daniel helped make the organization more established, increasing its reach to become a national organization and allowing it to offer more support to the religious LGBTQ community in Israel.
In 2012, to further his goal of increasing awareness about the plight of Orthodox LGBTQ Jews, Daniel published an article on the Israeli news site Mako detailing his coming-out journey.[1 ] In the article, Daniel recalled that already in the 4th grade he was bullied by other students in his religious school, who would shout “homo” at him down the hall. Looking back on it, he remarked, “I didn't really understand what it meant, and I'm not sure they really did, but what was clear was that ‘homo’ was a derogatory word.” After having his first sexual encounter with another boy in 8th grade, Daniel wrote that he continued to struggle with understanding his sexuality, and eventually with the continued feeling of isolation caused by this confusion he even began to contemplate suicide as he began high school.
At around the same time, the school counselor called Daniel in for a talk. The talk continued for five hours, where Daniel avoided disclosing any of the struggles he was experiencing. Yet, in the end the counselor was not convinced that nothing was wrong, and after calling Daniel’s parents to the school, they had him meet with a teen psychologist that same evening. The psychologist was the first person Daniel ever told about being gay. In response, the psychologist reassured him, “Don't worry, it will pass.” Daniel believed him, hoping that indeed that would be so.
Nonetheless, the topic of his sexuality continued to bother Daniel. As he later told a The Jerusalem Post reporter, he eventually found someone else to confide in, his troop leader from the Tzofim, the Israel Scouts movement.[2 ] His troop leader gave different advice than the psychologist, suggesting that he talk to God, since in Daniel’s words, “If there is anyone I can speak with and say everything to, it’s God. He’s non-judgmental.”
Despite this, Daniel continued to hope that his attraction to men would disappear. Upon finishing high school, in the fall of 2000, he went to study in a yeshiva, a common practice for Israeli boys from the Orthodox community; however, the yeshiva, an all-male seminary dedicated to studying Torah, proved to be even more challenging for Daniel’s continued denial of his sexuality. Soon, Daniel started falling for someone in his class. At first, he thought that speaking to him would help ease those feelings, but quickly he realized that it only made the love he felt stronger, and then the realization dawned on him: the psychologist he had met in 9th grade was wrong. His attraction to men would not pass.
One night, Daniel asked one of his close friends from the yeshiva, if they could speak in private. After making sure that no one could overhear, he confessed, “I think...maybe... I'm gay.” To Daniel’s surprise, his friend quickly gave him a hug. Daniel recalled, “It was the first time I felt that maybe after all, I was okay.”
His friend recommended that Daniel consult with a well-known rabbi about his “problem.” After less than an hour, he left the conversation with the rabbi “convinced” that his whole “problem” stemmed from two things: his father did not love him enough, and his lack of sexual experience with a woman (which is generally taboo in Orthodox societies before marriage). With this new understanding, Daniel turned to another well-known rabbi, who answered questions of Jewish law anonymously on a website, and asked for permission to have sex with a woman. “It was clear to me that I would not marry anyone until I was completely sure of myself, and in order to be sure of myself, I had to sleep with a woman,” Daniel explained. The internet rabbi gave his permission dependent on Daniel consulting with an additional rabbi first, so Daniel decided to contact his rabbi from the yeshiva.
Daniel was afraid to approach his rabbi directly, so he initially chose to send him the response from the internet rabbi anonymously. He received the following response: “I cannot give an answer to such a question on the Internet. You are welcome to call me and discuss the issue, without the need to identify yourself.” While Daniel appreciated his rabbi’s concern for his privacy, he realized that if he called him, he would not manage to hide his identity. So, in the end, he reached out to his rabbi directly, and in his words was “treated with warmth, love, non-judgement and comfort.” However, despite this profession of love – the rabbi refused to grant Daniel permission to have sex with a woman, and he felt just as stuck as he had been before.
A few years later, while at university, Daniel chose to study abroad in Amsterdam for the 2008-2009 academic year. There, thousands of kilometers away from home, he realized just how deep his gay identity was, that it was not just about sex, and that it was not something he could ignore any longer. He returned home to Israel for a short break and decided to come out to his family. At first, Daniel said that he first feared his father would not accept it, since he was a highly respected man in the community and in their synagogue, but in the end Daniel’s father responded to the news with “I thought about this, but I really don’t care.”[3 ]
Daniel then returned to Amsterdam for the remainder of his year abroad. A week before returning to Israel, on August 2nd, 2009, the annual Pride Parade was held in Amsterdam. Watching the parade, Daniel saw how full of diversity and acceptance it was and was overcome with a sense of belonging. Later that day, he returned home and upon turning on his computer read the horrific news of the Bar-Noar shooting that had occurred that evening in Tel Aviv. A gunman entered a clubhouse operated by the Agudah (Israel’s LGBTQ Task Force) during a meeting of teenagers, opening fire and killing two people and seriously wounding several others.[4 ] This terrible event inspired Daniel: coming out to his family was not enough, he had to do more.[5 ]
When he returned to Israel a week later, Daniel published a news column on the popular Israeli news site Ynet with his full name, calling for his “sisters and brothers” to come out. Two hours after the article went online, he was called by Benny Elbaz, one of the founders of Havruta, and which at the time was just a small group of gay Orthodox men in Jerusalem. He told Daniel that he had to join the Havruta board so that he could really make a difference, and while at first Daniel did not want to – with a little more insistence from Benny, he eventually agreed.
In addition to coming out and becoming involved in LGBTQ activism, the year after the Bar-Noar incident would also prove significant for Daniel in another way, since in 2010, he met his boyfriend Uri, who also grew up in an Orthodox household. The two would later marry in May 2014.
Daniel at the Jerusalem Pride Parade on July 31st, 2010, holding a sign that reads, “I also studied at Otniel,” indicating the name of the yeshiva he attended and consequently that gay people exist in Jewish Orthodox society.
While a board member for Havruta, Daniel advocated for Havruta to incorporate as a registered non-profit organization, enhancing its legitimacy and enabling it to independently raise funds. Until then, Havruta had been officially affiliated with the Jerusalem Open House, an LGBTQ community center in the city. After the organization gained official recognition, Daniel was elected the second chairperson of Havruta, replacing Eyal Lieberman who had been in that position when Havruta incorporated in 2010. While other activists believed it was important for Havruta to maintain its role primarily as a community group and organization, Daniel also recognized Havruta’s potential as an advocacy platform, with the ability to improve the lives of LGBTQ religious individuals all across Israel. His initiatives focused on promoting visibility, fostering dialogue with rabbis and community leaders, and lobbying for government policies that addressed surrogacy rights for same-sex couples and the ban on conversion therapy – acute issues especially for the Orthodox gay community.
From the beginning of his activism, Daniel was vocal about the importance of visibility and coming out. From that very first article he published after returning from the Netherlands, he knew that once it is recognized that LGBTQ religious people exist, that their struggle is real, it would be easier for them to become accepted in religious communities. He continued to publish in the mainstream Israeli media on websites like Ynet about the importance of creating LGBTQ religious visibility by marching in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv’s pride parades,[6 ] pushing the Orthodox community to become more accepting,[7 ] and criticizing rabbis who pushed for gay men and lesbians to marry each other.[8 ] Daniel helped Havruta also reach out to more liberal Orthodox rabbis, both for discussions between group members and the rabbi as well as organizing panel discussions to bring the issue of LGBTQ acceptance in the Orthodox community to the public.
One of the key issues that Daniel would speak about was conversion therapy, a practice that affected primarily gay Orthodox men in Israel. In response to a request from Havruta in 2012, the Israel Psychological Association declared that these “therapies” are not successful and are based on an incorrect assumption about the nature of homosexuality. Daniel said that this breakthrough reaffirmed to the public what he had believed for so long: “We are not evil or sick, rather we were created like everyone else in the image of God.”[9 ] A few years later, Havruta organized its first conference on the topic in 2015 involving rabbis, mental health professionals, and lay leaders,[10 ] leading the way for the process that it continued in the following years when Shay Bramson would later become chairperson.
Under Daniel’s leadership Havruta also began meeting in Jerusalem for Shabbat prayers. Originally, this started as two separate projects, one where the group hosted a Pride shabbat after the annual Jerusalem Pride Parade,[11 ] and the other involved hosting prayers and dancing on the morning of Simchat Torah – the holiday celebrating the completion of reading the Torah each year. In 2013, this would turn into weekly Friday night meetings at different members’ homes in Jerusalem, and Daniel even reached out to the Jerusalem municipality for help in creating a gay synagogue for them in the city[12 ] – however, these calls were not answered and the group eventually the regular Shabbat prayers initiative faded.
Another project that Daniel advanced as Havruta’s chairperson was surrogacy rights for same-sex couples. Until January 2022, Israel did not allow same-sex couples to work with a surrogate in the country, so many same-sex couples would find surrogates abroad, particularly in the United States. While this issue affected gay Israelis generally, Havruta focused on how rabbinic decisors reacted to the process, declaring that the children born this way outside of Israel were not Jewish – and insisted on creating a process whereby these children would be considered so.[13 ] At a special committee set up by the Israel’s Ministry of Health on October 4th, 2011, Daniel not only stressed how the rabbinic standards excluded gay homes from being “Jewish” enough but that this policy also excluded them from be part of God’s blessing to humankind: “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…” (Genesis 1:28).[14 ] Eventually, Daniel and his husband Uri received their blessing and brought a baby into the world through surrogacy in August 2023. They were the first same-sex couple to receive their certificate of parenthood, officially recognizing them as the legal parents of a child born via surrogacy, by a court in Jerusalem.[15 ]
In Daniel’s first year as chairperson, Havruta received special mention for the annual Human Rights Prize from the French government, along with Bat Kol, an Israeli organization supporting the Orthodox lesbian community.[16 ] At that time (and officially until 2022), Havruta defined itself as an organization for gay men, so the two groups frequently collaborated on projects that supported the entire LGBTQ spectrum. At a ceremony on December 15, 2011, the French ambassador presented the award to Daniel and to Michal Yechieli, a Bat Kol board member.[17 ] Havruta and Bat Kol were one of eleven other organizations worldwide to be given the prize or special mention for their efforts in promoting LGBTQ rights. The award recognized their joint project, Shoval (a Hebrew acronym for “All is created for His glory”), which aimed to raise awareness of LGBTQ people in Orthodox communities across Israel by sharing personal stories with educators, teachers, and students in Israel’s Orthodox school system. Shoval would later become an independent organization.
For Daniel, his activism for the Orthodox LGBTQ community was just the beginning. It inspired him to continue with activism for other movements, including local Jerusalem politics where he ran to be on the municipal council in 2018,[18 ] and also serving as the spokesperson for the Bimkom organization, which works to ensure the human rights of Palestinians in the West Bank by advocating for fair and equitable land planning.[19 ] Daniel has been the Director of Communications at the Van Leer Jerusalem Institute since January 2019.
Throughout his activism, Daniel has maintained that it is important for him to identify as Orthodox, and not a member of a different denomination of Judaism. As he explained at a 2020 event, “If I stop defining myself as Orthodox we will allow the Orthodox community to say what used to be true, ‘that [LGBTQ persons ] don’t exist here.’ Now they can no longer say that.”[20 ] By choosing to stay within the Orthodox framework, Daniel has forced the community to recognize a more inclusive understanding of Orthodox identity.
Daniel’s journey embodies resilience, leadership, and hope, serving as an inspiration for religious LGBTQ individuals who seek to remain true to both their faith and their identities. A question that naturally came up during the years of his activism was how he believed Jewish law and the Torah coalesced with his gay life. After years of trying to understand the role God intended for him, he realized that “the problem is not God and religion, but the religious interpretation and the weight that is given to things in the end, it is about another prohibition, another halachic [=of Jewish law ] issue.”[21 ] God wanted him to not be alone, to find love, and start a family – and that is exactly the path he took.
Daniel speaking at the "Building a Shared Society" panel at the #Israelin3D conference on May 21st, 2017, hosted by the Younes and Soraya Nazarian Center for Israel Studies at UCLA.
1. Jonas, Daniel. “Homoim datiim, atem lo levad [Religious gays, you are not alone ].” Mako, 27 Nov. 2012 [in Hebrew ], www.mako.co.il/pride-sex-and-love/identity-religious-gay/Article-6c8d0d6d5763b31006.htm. Accessed 20 Oct. 2024.
2. Rifkin, Lawrence. “The Times They Are A-Changin’.” The Jerusalem Post, 6 Sept. 2010, www.jpost.com/jerusalem-report/the-times-they-are-a-changin. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
3, ibid.
4. Gallagher, Paul. “Two Killed in Tel Aviv Gay Support Centre Shooting.” The Observer, 2 Aug. 2009, www.theguardian.com/world /2009/aug/01/tel-aviv-gay-bar-shooting. Accessed 1 Nov. 2024.
5. "Daniel Jonas in Amsterdam (English).” Youtube, uploaded by Havruta - Religious Gays, 14 June 2012, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT6ScAsbO6A.
6. Jonas, Daniel. “Homo dati ge’eh - tzoed oh lo [Proud religious gay - to march or not ]?” Ynet, 9 June 2011 [in Hebrew ], www.ynet.co.il/article/4079763. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
7. Jonas, Daniel. “La’tzet meha’aron hadati [To come out of the religious closet ].” Ynet, 18 Jan. 2010 [in Hebrew ], www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3835850,00.html. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
8. Jonas, Daniel. “Ani homo dati, ve’lo ta’alimu oti [I am a religious gay, and you will not make me disappear ].” Ynet, 30 Aug. 2011 [in Hebrew ], www.ynet.co.il/article/4115603. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
9. Ynet Staff. “Tipulei hamara le’homoim - mah emdat ha’psichologim [Conversion therapy for gays - what is the position of the psychologists ]?” Ynet, 8 Feb. 2012 [in Hebrew ], www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-4186850,00.html. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
10. Havruta, Conversion Therapy Conference, 16 Feb. 2015. https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1011486702212614&set=a.107845875910039.
11. Havruta, Pride Shabbat Flyer, 25 July 2013. https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=667731089921512&set=a.107845875910039.
12. Friedman, Yishai. “Homoim datiim mevakshim lehakim beit knesset ge’eh be’yerushalayim [Religious gays demanding to create a gay synagogue in Jerusalem.” Maariv, 1 Mar. 2013 [in Hebrew ].
13. Jonas, Daniel. “Havruta mevakehset: pundakaut ba’aretz, gam le’homoim [Havruta demands: surrogacy in Israel, also for gays ].” 12 Apr. 2011 [in Hebrew ]. https://havruta.org.il/חברותא-מבקשת-פונדקאות-בארץ-גם-להומוא-2/
14. ibid.
15. Earlier that year others had done so in Tel Aviv, yet this feat was significant considering Jerusalem’s more conservative nature. Tessler, Yitzchak. “Larishona be’yerushalayim: zug avodt kibul tzav horot le’tinuk she’nolad bepundakaut [A first in Jerusalem: a pair of two fathers received a certificate of parenthood for a baby born through surrogacy ].” Mynet Jerusalem, 31 Aug. 2023 [in Hebrew ], jerusalem.mynet.co.il/local_news/article/hjgscg0a3. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
16. Human Rights Prize of the French Republic 2011, 10 Dec. 2011. https://havruta.org.il/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/PriceofhumanrightsoftheFrenchRepublic2011.doc-3.pdf
17. Leviani, Renana. “Haerev hu’anak pras ‘zechuyot adam’ le’irgunim ha’lahatbim hadatiim [Tonight the ‘human rights’ award was given to the religious LGBT groups ].” Mako, 15 Dec. 2011 [in Hebrew ], www.mako.co.il/pride-news/local/Article-26846b87d634431006.htm. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
18. Perlstein, Rafi. “Ha’anashim she’yilchamu al 31 hamoshavim bekikar safra: eli reshimot hamuamadim lemoetzet iriyat yerushalayim [The people who will fight for the 31 seats at Safra square: these are the lists of candidates for the Jerusalem municipal council ].” Mynet Jerusalem, 17 Oct. 2018 [in Hebrew ], jerusalem.mynet.co.il/elections_2018/article/m_317397. Accessed 7 Nov. 2024.
19. Spotlight on Daniel Jonas, Van Leer Jerusalem Institute. https://www.vanleer.org.il/מאמר/זרקור-על-דניאל-יונס/.
20. Avishai, Orit. Queer Judaism. NYU Press, 2023, p. 218.
21. Shamir, Ofir. “‘Hamemshala machriha oti lehavi yeled lo yehudi’: homo dati mutzhar mesaper al hakeshaiim [‘The government is forcing me to have a non-Jewish child’: a self-professed religious gay tells about the challenges ].” Maariv, Nov. 2018 [in Hebrew ], www.maariv.co.il/news/israel/Article-668607. Accessed 7 Nov. 202
(This biographical statement was written by Jason Greenspan from the sources cited and reviewed by Daniel Jonas.)
Photo credits:
Profile photo: Danny Tzur
Pride parade photo: Bat-Ami Neumeier-Potashnik
UCLA photo: UCLA Younes and Soraya Nazarian Center for Israel Studies
Biography Date: December 2024