Jeff Stone

Jeff Stone, Director of Media Relations for DignityUSA and Secretary of Dignity New York, has been involved with Dignity at the local, regional, and national levels since 1988. Stone was born in 1955 and raised in a traditionally observant Irish Catholic family, where he was the oldest of five siblings. As a young teenager, he knew he was attracted to boys but didn't know what to do with it. Growing up in the 1960s in a small town outside of Portland, Maine, he didn’t know any openly gay people. While he didn’t experience any direct anti-gay sentiment from the Church, he was well aware that society's views were clear through jokes and general attitudes. Stone attended Brown University in Rhode Island and majored in American Civilization, focusing on U.S. history, literature, and art of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. While there, he started to move away from Catholic observance but continued to struggle with his identity.

After graduating from Brown in 1977, Jeff was at a loss as to what to do next. On a chance encounter, he met someone who recommended he take the Radcliffe Publishing Course at Harvard University.  After he completed the course, he landed his first job in publishing at William Morrow as an editorial assistant and moved to New York. During this time, he was wrestling with his sexual orientation and identity. Careerwise, he also met the three co-authors of his first book, Growing Up Catholic: An Infinitely Funny Guide for the Faithful, the Fallen and Everyone In-Between, which became a New York Times bestseller upon its publication in 1985 and prompted the friends to write two sequels. In 2004, Stone started working on the annual "Nuns Having Fun" calendar, a lighthearted but respectful project highlighting Catholic religious women's spirit and contributions.

After getting the contract for his first book, Stone left Morrow in 1983 to become a freelance publicist. It was not until his late 20s that he had time and space to begin to embrace his identity and openly come out as gay. Living near Columbia University, Stone attended a progressive campus ministry, where he joined a study group on homosexuality and the Church. He learned about Dignity and started attending services in 1988 during a critical time. The New York chapter had just been expelled from St. Francis Xavier Church, a Jesuit parish in the Chelsea neighborhood, at the direction of the Archdiocese of New York. Stone regularly participated in the Cathedral Project, a monthly Mass held by Dignity on the Fifth Avenue sidewalk opposite St. Patrick’s Cathedral to protest the chapter’s expulsion. This period was also marked by the AIDS crisis, which heavily influenced Stone’s coming out decision.

He quickly got involved in the leadership of the Dignity New York chapter and served on the National Board of DignityUSA from 1994 to 1998. He has been on the chapter’s Steering Committee for over 30 years and has been the New York chapter secretary for over 20 years. Drawing on his professional experience as a publisher, author, and speaker, Stone has also worked on media relations for DignityUSA, particularly during the early 2000s, when the sexual abuse crisis in the Catholic Church first burst into the national headlines.

One highlight of Stone’s career with Dignity was meeting with then-Cardinal John J. O'Connor during the AIDS crisis to discuss the Church's stance on condom distribution and its fortress-like appearance during the NYC Pride March. Their discussions led to a noticeable reduction in the security presence during Pride events, as well as, the Church eventually dropping its opposition to the inclusion of sexual orientation in New York State’s non-discrimination law. Another significant moment was Stone’s debate with William Donohue of the conservative Catholic League on CNN, a high-pressure but important opportunity to advocate for LGBTQIA Catholics.

“Dignity has been a crucially important community for me and thousands of others, offering spiritual nourishment, activism, and social support,” states Stone. “We've seen huge changes in the Church and society's acceptance of LGBTQIA people, and Dignity has played a significant part in these developments. While fewer young people are raised in traditional religious settings today, the need for a supportive, independent, and prophetic community remains. Dignity continues to educate laypeople and work with more open-minded bishops. In 2023, DignityUSA’s Executive Director Marianne Duddy-Burke had the opportunity to meet and briefly talk with Pope Francis in Rome, which was an extraordinary milestone in our history.”

“Dignity is also where I met my life partner,” Stone adds. He has been in a committed relationship with Rev. James J. Morris since 1995. Rev. Morris has also been heavily involved with Dignity since 1993, serving as a frequent presider and member of the Liturgy Committee, as well as being the subject of stories in Time magazine and other media.

“My involvement with Dignity has always been deeply fulfilling,” Stone says, “and I expect that to continue as long as we’re both around.”

(This biographical statement written by Amy Archambault from an interview with Jeff Stone and was edited by Stone.)

Biography Date: August 2024

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